Key events
12th over: England 86-1 (Duckett 60, Pope 23) Holder decides to go around, so Duckett clobbers his first ball over the covers for his 12th four. And have a look! Two balls later, he leaves a wide one! I know! In fairness, he’d not have got it with two bats, but since when has that bothered him? Pathetic, and drinks. Windies need a stiff one.
“Kim Thonger’s email sounds marvellous, reckons Phil Withall. “I’d like to offer an alternative day: I was up at four this morning, spent a day in a kitchen ill-equipped to deal with its workload, enjoyed 10 hours without a real break and have the pleasure of doing the same for the next three days. I’ve managed to watch 10 minutes of the cricket and am still adjusting to a Jimmyless world. Still love Test cricket and the OBO, a soothing balm in a chaotic world…”
If it’s any consolation, I’m cooking for 12 tonight, and the head chef is my wife.
11th over: England 82-1 (Duckett 56, Pope 23) Shamar Joseph replaces Alzarri and three dots are fie, then Pope unfurls his Ronald special, running down to third for four like the Shermanator in his prime. Two singles follow, and with drinks imminent, my sense if that Duckett will be asking someone to get round his yard – Notts is now his club – to get the hot water turned off and the herbal supplements hidden.
“Is Duckett going to have to call his baby Century?” says Andrew Miles. “Surely it would be Tony. Ton-y. Geddit? I’ll get my sleeveless jumper.”
If he goes really big, Daddy is a nice name.
10th over: England 76-1 (Duckett 55, Pope 18) In runs Holder to begin another over and Duckett opens face to run him down to the fence; that’s his 50 in just 32 balls, and a drive into the covers adds three more. A single completes the scoring, and with just eight from it, that’s a relatively quiet over. In the changing room, Zak Crawley must be feeling a way, but terrifyingly, I’m struggling to recall the examples from my youth of all but one of a top order making ridiculous runs. Please forgive me.
“England without Anderson, or indeed Broad,” says Simon McMaon. “I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually. More importantly, the merging of the Scottish folk tradition with elements of jazz, dance, dubstep and electronic music, by bands like Shooglenifty and The Peatbog Faeries, broadly known as Celtic fusion, is also, brilliantly, sometimes referred to as ‘Acid Croft’ or ‘Gaelictronica’.”
Love it – any recommendations?
9th over: England 68-1 (Duckett 48, Pope 17) Ben Duckett hates leaving even more than the #FBPE lads, but this is a better over from Joseph, just a single and a leg-bye from it.
“In one of the images you’ve posted of Stuart Broad,” emails Kieran Taylor, “he is standing next to a woman who is holding sunglasses and a …. completely spherical bag/new ballcock for a cistern? What is that thing she’s holding?”
I thought it was a tennis thing, but I’ll ask my wife, formerly of Anya Hindmarch, and revert if she deems me worthy of a response.
8th over: England 66-1 (Duckett 48, Pope 16) Is Duckett going to have to call his baby Century? He slams another drive through extra for four more … then another down the ground. This almost hard to watch, Holder, the guy brought on for control struggling to exert any. But forget that, check out this segue!
“Obscure music genres and OBO, two of my faves,” says Pete Salmon. “Just thinking the other day, not enough Gqom music being played – South African hiphop that gets its aesthetic from cassettes being played by passing taxis. Spoek Mathambo covering Joy Division, that’s what’s needed this morning I think. Good message for the bowlers too.
Magnificent. Should anyone fancy, here’s a playlist of Saffer bangers; I’ll add this year’s tunes at lunch.
7th over: England 58-1 (Duckett 39, Pope 16) Better from Joseph, ceding just a single to Duckett and two from a no-ball. I bet he’s glad his partner hasn’t yet gone into labour – though many of us will have thought yeah right, first child you’ll be fine for Edgbaston and all.
“I went to Trent Bridge for the Sri Lanka Test match in 2006,” tweets Steven Pye. “In the first hour of the afternoon session, England scored 22 runs in 17 overs. I love Test cricket, but I ended up drinking to try and ease the boredom. No such danger with this lot.”
KP told me England turned up for that match and couldn’t believe what they found: a dust bowl. Shonuff, Murali took eightfer in the second innings, bowling the tourists to a brilliant 134-run win.
6th over: England 56-1 (Duckett 39, Pope 16) Holder into the attack, which makes sense; he rarely goes for runs. So Duckett takes a single then Pope takes a stride down and checks his shot, the ball looping just over the bowler’s follow-through … the only run from the over. Can Holder also bowl from the other end?
“Wonderful day here, strolling over the valley to the Rutland Vineyard later this morning for a cooling glass of their magnificent ‘First Crush’ and a morsel of Cropwell Bishop, writes Kim Thonger. “I shall be attending at Trent Bridge tomorrow in full ‘Englishman abroad in sunny weather’ gear. Other spectators are advised to wear shades and avoid looking directly. In the meantime I’m putting a fiver on a 50 partnership against a tiring attack from Atkinson and Wood.”
There’s not much to be said for global heating, but it has exponentially improved the quality of English wine and fizz. In particular, there are some banging blanc de blancs, he said like he knows about that which he is chatting; verily he doe snot.
5th over: England 55-1 (Duckett 38, Pope 16) Another Duckett cut, another four runs, and it can’t be often a side has got to 50 quicker than 4.2 overs … and as I type, Bish advises us we’ve seen a record. What’s more surprising is that it beats, by one ball, England’s effort against South Africa at the Oval in 1994; the batters, of course were the notoriously destructive Graham Gooch and Michael Atherton. And have a look! Offered a short one, Duckett goes cannibal and eats it up, lashing a pull over midwicket, and a further single means the first five overs have yielded a bazballtastic 55 runs! Thinking to do for Kraigg Brathwaite.
4th over: England 44-1 (Duckett 27, Pope 16) A third boundary-four in three balls and an eighth in 13, Duckett slashing through point, opens the over. England being England, there’s soon a false shot, a similar effort dropping short of Da Silva, but another cut soon zooms to the fence, a single follows, and that call to field has not aged well. And that’s the thing with Bazball: there’s no side less likely to let you ease your way into a Test; deciding to bowl doesn’t mean you can hide.
3rd over: England 35-1 (Duckett 18, Pope 16) I say since Gilchrist changed everything, but Jack Russell wasn’t picked by England for a while because his batting wasn’t considered good enough; he then made 94 on Test debut. Meantime, more runs, Pope seeing off two dots before taking two twos and two fours. Already, West Indies have a problem.
2nd over: England 23-1 (Duckett 18, Pope 4) Seales to open from the other end and, well. His first two balls are too wide, so disappear to fence via pull and cut, so he goes around to the lefty and offers one on the pads, so that to disappears to the fence, then when he goes fuller he’s too full and is creamed through cover for a fourth straight four. Gosh, he’ll be feeling ill here, but finds a much better ball next up, Duckett missing with his prod, before ending the over with a shove for two. Nineteen off the over; ouch.
“Obviously I should have paid more attention in the lead up to the first Test, writes Ben Bernards. “But I am curious as to why Foakes has disappeared from the picture and this new fellow Smith magicked forth?”
Foakes is considered expendable other than on the subcontinent because the quality and style of batting others bring, whether Smith or Bairstow, is deemed more useful than the brilliance of his keeping. It’s not a new thing either – Chris Read and James Foster also played less than they would’ve done before Adam Gilchrist changed the game.
1st over: England 4-1 (Duckett 0, Pope 4) Nice from Pope, having a look at a couple of balls before forcing a flick through mid-on for four, and England are away.
“About Trent Bridge,” begins John Starbuck. “For all the fuss about sheer speed among our bowlers, what counts here is accuracy on a notoriously bat-friendly pitch. Much like some of those in the Caribbean. Also, we who follow Notts CCC have been referring to the Stuart Broad End all season.”
Yup, Broad was clear about that: bowl how you like, just hit your length. Though Joseph is finding joy from a little shorter, perhaps the cobination of pace and height changing the rules.
WICKET! Crawley c Athanaze b Joseph 0 (England 0-1)
This is a terrific delivery, back of a length with a bit of lift and away-movement, squaring Crawley up and he looks to fend, and Athanze takes a fine catch at three, fingers slid under ball. What a call at the toss!
1st over: England 0-0 (Crawley 0, Duckett 0) Nice loosener from Joseph, a bit of swing and Crawley moving bat inside the line; another dot follows.
Crawley to face, Joseph with the ball.
Broad now rings the bell but the players are already out, so we’ll have the anthems and get on.
Ah, this is lovely: SJ Broad officially opens the renamed Stuart Broad end, and he’s got his favourite coat on to do it. How lucky we were, mates. How very, very lucky.
I just got a PR email talking about “Turkish psych-folk”; my favourite of the genre is “Croatian ethno-noise”, but this is nice too. Feel free to send me your own examples, imaginary or otherwise.
Our teams
England: 1 Zak Crawley, 2 Ben Duckett, 3 Ollie Pope, 4 Joe Root, 5 Harry Brook, 6 Ben Stokes (capt), 7 Jamie Smith (wk), 8 Chris Woakes, 9 Gus Atkinson, 10 Mark Wood, 11 Shoaib Bashir
West Indies: 1 Kraigg Brathwaite (capt), 2 Mikyle Louis, 3 Kirk McKenzie, 4 Alick Athanaze, 5 Kavem Hodge, 6 Jason Holder, 7 Joshua da Silva (wk), 8 Kevin Sinclair, 9 Alzarri Joseph, 10 Shamar Joseph, 11 Jayden Seales.
As a former captain of a rubbish team, my senses are telling me one reason West Indies are bowling is to avoid getting skittled before they’re into the match. This way around, obviously they’re risking making things worse, because there’ll be scoreboard pressure if England do well, but they trust their attack more than their top order, and the pitch oitentially offering help probably sealed the deal.
Ben Stokes won’t say what he’d’ve done, but does think it was a decision to be made. He’s excited to see how his Brandersonless attack copes, and how Mark Wood pulls up; he replaces Jimmy Anderson.
West Indies win the toss and bowl
It looks a good pitch, says Kraigg Branthwaite, adding that his bowlers need greater discipline and his batters need to build partnerships; Gudakesh Motie is absent with flu so Kevin Sinclair comes in.
Toss time…
Stuart Broad’s mum has been to C&A – he’s sporting another blazer of a blazer. Otherwise, he says he found it easier to get rhythm at Trent Bridge because the surface was always solid underfoot, and that length is key: you have to go fuller, and Bob Willis advised him not to aim for the top of off but for the sponsor’s logo.
Otherwise, he was happy being driven on this track because it got the batters forward which is what he was after. “You can do whatever you want her, as long as your length is good,” he concludes, noting that Vernon Philander and Jasprit Bumrah, very different bowlers, have both had success in Nottingham.
Gosh, he really likes it doesn’t he?
Also going on…
It’s a nice day in Nottingham, and thinking about pitches here, I wonder if England’s pacemen are the right fit – often, it’s a slow seamer that suits more traditional types. Or maybe Branderson were just freaks of nature able to make all types of track look made to order.
Mark Wood feels good; who knew? He’s not bowled much lately, he says, and is expecting to feel sore tonight, but he’s looking forward to it. He hopes he’s not expected to bowl like Jimmy, and is glad he’s still in the changing room with Stuart Broad also around. Otherwise, he hates falling over when delivering, but thinks the cuts and bruises make him look a bit harder.
Preamble
We hear the words often: “It’s called a Test match for a reason”. Well, however you slice it, last week was not remotely testing for England; though West Indies competed in moments, all across the piece they were barely present, and the fear now is that we see similar over the next five few days, then again next week at Edgbaston.
Of course, there is context: a rigged system in which the game’s biggest powers make the most money and play the most matches, the longest serieseseses reserved solely for when they meet each other. What we saw at Lord’s reflected that.
In fairness to West Indies, they bowled well in parts, and who knows how a bit of scoreboard pressure might’ve helped them. But it’s England’s Jimmyless attack we arrive at Trent Bridge excited to see, given the two quicks, Gus Atkinson and Mark Wood, who’ll be taking the new ball, with Ben Stokes, pace back and wobble-ball installed, also looking tasty; who knows, Shoaib Bashir may even get a bowl.
The thing is, this thing of ours has a habit of surprising us – just ask Australia. In recent times we’ve seen Chris Gayle, Shai Hope and Jason Holder all perform superhuman feats against England, and with the talent West Indies have, that possibility must never be discounted – it just shouldn’t be a necessity. But here we are so here we are, which is to say that all we can do is make sure to enjoy whatever it is we get, because even an untesting Test match is better than anything else the world has to offer us. Go well!
Play: 11am BST