Key events
The run-rate of 4.40 per over is the highest in Test history for a series of more than one game. Faster than England v Pakistan in 2022-23, faster than India v South Africa in 1992-93 – and look how exciting that was.
We can’t top a statgasm like that so it’s time to wrap things up. Thanks for your company and emails throughout a flawed but richly enjoyable, high-octane series.
The last word goes to the sexiest camel of them all, Tim Southee.
Firstly, thank you Sir Richard [Hadlee, who gave a speech in tribute to Southee] for such kind words. Congratulations to England on a series win; as always it was played in a great spirit. I’ve really enjoyed playing against them over the years.
I’d like to thank a few people. Firstly New Zealand Cricket for everything you’ve done over the last 17 years; it’s been much appreciated.
Family: Mum and Dad, Brya and the kids. They’re the ones who are with you for the ride, they see the ups and downs and I appreciate everything they’ve done for me over the years.
Teammates: this group of guys made the ride so much more enjoyable, as did all the other players I’ve played with. I’ve loved every minute. A number of the support staff as well. [His voice is starting to crack now.]
Finally I’d like to thank the fans. It’s always great to turn out in front of numbers and this week has been really special. Thank you. I look forward to watching on a fan now, and all the best boys.
Ben Stokes’ verdict
[On his decision to bowl at the toss] Yeah I think I’d stick to it. We created a lot of chances on day one, even though we probably didn’t bowl quite as well as we’d have liked. You’ve got to give a lot of credit to the New Zealand batters for getting through that opening period.
The wicket was at its most dangerous for the seam bowlers when they hit the wicket hard with fresh legs. It’s not ideal [being back in the field so quickly after the first innings] but I can’t fault the energy and effort that we put into this game, particularly in the field.
It’s not ideal to end the tour on this note but we played some very good cricket to beat a really good New Zealand side who were high on confidence after winning 3-0 in India. I think 2008 was the last time an England team won here which shows how tough it is.
We wanted to win this game and make it 3-0 but the first two Tests is when it really counted for us. That’s when we played our best cricket. It’s another series win for us and we’re very happy. We’d have liked to end the tour on better terms but it is what it is.
Stokes is then presented with the new Crowe/Thorpe Trophy by Amanda Thorpe, the wife of Graham.
Tom Latham’s reaction
It’s a nice way to end the series. We weren’t at our best in the first couple of games but the way we adapted to a slightly different wicket here was very pleasing.
We took early wickets in the first innings of all three Tests but this time we were able to capitalise. After the first day here we thought we might have lost a couple of wickets too many but I guess you only find out about a pitch when both teams have batted on it.
Timmy has been a massive member of this team for such a long time. The wickets, runs and sixes speak for themselves. But as much as we’ll miss his attributes on the field, we’ll really miss him around the dressing-room. He’s a great team man and all the guys love playing with him.
We’re leaving one of the greats behind.
The player of the series is Harry Brook
[What do you love about playing in New Zealand?] I think it just opens up different areas to score. There’s been quite a bit of bounce this time and I felt I scored quite well square of the wicket.
Nothing has changed since the last tour here. I’m still trying to enjoy my cricket, work hard and try to get better every day.
I felt like I counter-punched well, particularly in the second Test, and thankfully it came off.
Mitch Santner’s reaction
[On being left out for the first two Tests after his 13-for in India] You might get the odd ground in New Zealand that spins a bit so you just have to stay ready for those Test matches.
It’s nice to bowl with a bit of a lead, and the way England play you always feel in the game.
[On his sudden red-ball uplift] It’s taken a while. I guess the role is important. When I previously played in New Zealand I was drying up an end, doing a job and then let the big boys go downwind. It was nice to get on a spinning wicket in India and take some poles. And yeah, when it spins here it’s always nice.
Everyone here will miss Tim Southee. He’s been an outstanding player for a long time for us.
Santner’s story is a gem, mind you: 13 wickets to win the series in India and now seven more (and the smaller matter of 125 runs) to thrash England.
Mitch Santner is the player of the match
No offence to Santner, who is in the red-ball form of his life, but Will O’Rourke was the player who did most to decide this match. By far.
Harry Brook’s record in dead rubbers this year: 2, 19, 3, 0, 1. That’s 25 runs at an average of 5.
Despite another end-of-term defeat, it’s been a really good tour for England. Easy to forget now how much pressure they were under after losing in Pakistan, and how few people tipped them to win. They did that – and, just as importantly, found two cricketers of rare potential.
Brydon Carse took 18 wickets at 17.61 and would surely be the player of the series but for Harry Brook. Jacob Bethell stepped up to Test cricket, played better; he’s thrown a grenaded into England’s previously undroppable top three.
The retiring Tim Southee leads New Zealand off and is warmly embraced by each of the England party, with Brendon McCullum’s hug lasting forever. Southee, a bloody fine cricketer and even better bloke, finishes his Test career with 391 wickets at 30.26. Oh, and 98 sixes.
NEW ZEALAND WIN BY 423 RUNS!
WICKET! England 234 all out (Carse st Blundell b Santner 11) All done. Carse runs past one and is stumped by a mile, and it’s immediately clear that Ben Stokes isn’t going to bat. For the second time this year, England have been hammered by in excess of 400 runs.
47th over: England 234-8 (Carse 11, Bashir 2) Even Bashir wants to be part of the slogathon. He runs down the track to Henry, heaves across the line and misses. Then he waves a couple of runs over mid-on. I’m not sure England’s batters are out there for a good time any more; they’re certainly not there for a long time. “This doesn’r feel right,” says David Gower on commentary.
If the morning session, particularly the contest between Bethell and O’Rourke, was like a profound, existential conversation at 4am when the party is starting to clear out, the post-lunch action has been where the bloke nobody likes wakes up in his own spittle at 8am and harasses everyone into doing one last round of Sambucas. And then another. And then another. And then another.
WICKET! England 231-8 (Potts c Southee b Santner 0)
46th over As a wise man once said, nearly done. Potts swipes his second ball straight to Southee at long-off, another stroke that has befuddled David Gower in the commentary box. Funny how things work out; Gower spent most of his career being told he should play more responsibly.
WICKET! England 231-7 (Atkinson c Phillips b Santner 43)
Atkinson’s clean-hitting cameo comes to an end when he slaps Santner towards deep cover and is beautifully caaught by Glenn Phillips. Atkinson made 43 from 41 balls, a fun knock that showcased his abnormal ball-striking ability. New Zealand are two wickets away, or three if Ben Stokes fancies a bat.
45th over: England 227-6 (Atkinson 39, Carse 10) Another lusty swipe from Carse, this time off the bowling of Henry, flashes off the edge and past the keeper for four. Henry then tries a wild, loopy slower ball, sensing that Carse is about to back away. Carse manages to steretch and bunt it into the off side.
44th over: England 222-6 (Atkinson 39, Carse 6) Atkinson has a bit of fortune when a mishit drive lands safely on the off side. Carse gets off the mark with a lusty straight six because this is how tailenders behave these days.
Those runs mean England are a third of the way to their nominal target of 658. Bon Jovi’s services won’t be required today.
43rd over: England 215-6 (Atkinson 37, Carse 0) “Were I a betting person, my long-shot shout (and it is a long shot) would be Zak Crawley being without a county in 2027,” writes Mark L. “His domestic record is very mediocre across formats – so much so that most players with those records are struggling to find a second or third county at 27 – and absent a central contract you’d assume his salary demands would be high; high enough that I doubt many counties could justify the outlay for red and white-ball averages peaking at 30.”
That’s a shrewd observation. I guess if that were to play out, he might be picked up by a county who generally play on flatter pitches. Maybe if he went to Lancashire he’d wallop 189 every fortnight.
WICKET! England 215-6 (Pope b Henry 17)
Now that is not pretty. Ollie Pope tries to reverse ramp Henry, misses completely and is cleaned up for 17. Not the most elegantly way to end what has generally been a good series for Pope.
42nd over: England 215-5 (Pope 17, Atkinson 37) Atkinson pumps successive deliveries from Santner back over his head for six and four, then makes it 14 from three balls with a languid drive over extra cover. No fuss, no frills, just a matter-of-fact swing of the bat. I bet he has the quietest orgasms in south west London. Look, it’s been a long series.
41st over: England 201-5 (Pope 17, Atkinson 23) Matt Henry, back on after lunch, beats Pope on the inside with a ridiculous delivery that bounces much more than expected.
I wonder which bowler has taken the fewest wickets while being judged the player of the match specifically for their bowling. The reason I ask is that Will O’Rourke has taken four wickets in this game, only one more than Jacob Bethell, but he’d be my POTM without question.
40th over: England 200-5 (Pope 17, Atkinson 22) You probably want to know what happened in Mitchell Santner’s first over after lunch. But why? Why don’t you want to talk about the future; about a better world; about Jacob Bethell and Will O’Rourke.
Er, yeah. There were seven runs from the over, four of them leg byes.
Okey dokey, the players are back.
That last hour was so breathless that I didn’t get chance to direct you to our live blog of the penultimate day at the Gabba, where India need rain. Lots of rain.
THAT WAS SO DARN GOOD. I swear, Test cricket at its best could turn Mark Corrig an into Timmy Mallett.
“While you and probably all cricket lovers salivate over O’Rourke’s express pace, it’s worth reflecting that England may have finally found a No3 batsman in the form of Jacob Bethell,” says Colum Fordham. “He has the temperament and skill to stay at the crease and counter-attack, protecting the likes of Joe Root from going in after the fall of the first wicket. He reminds me just a little of David Gower, another golden-haired left hander who made a dashing fifty on Test debut way back when against Pakistan.
“O’Rourke is quite exceptional and it is fitting that he is showing his raw pace just as the great Tim Southee plays his last test after leading New Zealand’s pace attack for so many years.”
I couldn’t disagree less. I suspect Bethell is a natural No1-11 and it’s becoming very hard to see how England can let him out. They don’t play another Test until the end of May, so there’s plenty of time to let it marinate. But Pope and Crawley are vulnerable like never before under Ben and Baz.
Lunch
38th over: England 193-5 (Pope 17, Atkinson 19) Pope has been a bit frantic so far but that’s a lovely shot, waved through extra cover for four off Southee.
That’s the end of a morning session that was both meaningless, in the grand scheme, and utterly exhilarating. It produced 175 runs and four wickets in 33 overs. The stars were two future greats with 13 Test caps between them and a combined age of 44: Jacob Bethell and Will O’Rourke, even if you wouldn’t know it from O’Rourke’s figures of 12-5-37-1.
I promise you, his spell on a fast, slightly uneven pitch was one for the books. He would have had any batter in the history of the game hopping about on a hot tin roof. As for Bethell, I’m all out of gush. He’s astonishing.
37th over: England 187-5 (Pope 12, Atkinson 19) Atkinson pushes defensively at an unplayable delivery from Santner. He doesn’t play it, because it was unplayable, and more importantly it bounces just over the stumps.
“There isn’t much point in Stokes having a bat, unless you count stubbornness and psychological complexity,” says John Starbuck. “I shall be back to bed pretty soon, I reckon.”
As well as being the name of my high-school band, Stubbornness & Psychological Complexity is a perfect summary of Ben Stokes the cricketer.
37th over: England 187-5 (Pope 12, Atkinson 19) Atkinson throws hands at Southee and inside edges past the stumps for four. Good time > long time.
“29th over,” writes John Starbuck. “It’s a common mistake: there’s no such thing as a ‘bicep’, since the word is ‘biceps’, Don’t blame me, blame the anatomists.”
I blame myself, not least because you’ve politely pulled me up on this in the past. What was that Larry David line: “Oh I do hate myself, but it isn’t because I misuse the word ‘bicep’.”
36th over: England 181-5 (Pope 11, Atkinson 13) Atkinson’s first boundary comes from a cracking shot, punched between short extra and mid-off off Santner. It was in the air but perfectly placed, and he threads another along the ground later in the over. They are two very fine strokes – and they have the desired effect when Santner tries to drag his length back and overcompensates. Atkinson pulls the resulting long hop for another boundary.
“Santner’s ‘run up’” is curious,” says Ruth Purdue. “He’s pretty quick and then slows in the gather. I wonder how it is with momentum. Also, I really need him to wear his glasses when bowling too. Go the full Vettori.”
He wears them when he bats, oddly. You’re right about his run up – it’s a bit like penalty takers who stop just before taking the kick.
35th over: England 168-5 (Pope 10, Atkinson 1) Gus Atkinson, promoted because of Ben Stokes’ injury, is cut in half by a ball that bounces just over the stumps. This shouldn’t take long now.
“I’m an unashamed Crawley fan and the team will be desperate to take him Down Under – I suspect a large reason for the persistence with him stems from the conviction he’ll go well on Aussie pitches,” says Max Williams. “But the emergence of Bethell changes things, doesn’t it?
“I dunno. Crawley was brilliant last Ashes and it would feel almost perverse to drop him ahead of the series where you expect him to excel. But he’s on a stinking run and an obvious alternative is now there. I think they’ll pick him for India and he’ll do enough to make the plane but it’s hardly the certainty it seemed at the start of the year.”
No, Bethell – and Pope at No6 – have slapped a whole lot of mud on England’s teamsheet. If England were playing any teams other than India and Australia next year I would keep Bethell in the team either as opener or No3. But knowing what happened to Joe Root in 2013-14, I’d be inclined to keep him as first reserve for now, albeit an open mind. That said, the key point is that for the first time England have a credible alternative to Crawley and Pope. By ‘credible’ I mean a player they rate and would like to get in the team.
(So, I wrote that reply about half an hour ago and then didn’t get to post it because there is so much happening. In that half an hour I changed my mind. I think he has to stay – not for what he will do between 2026 and 2040-odd, but for what he could do in 2025. He’s astonishing.)
WICKET! England 166-5 (Bethell c Phillips b Southee 76)
After fighting desperately to see off Will O’Rourke, Bethell falls to the first ball from his replacement Tim Southee. He made room and sliced a wider delivery – a canny bit of bowling I think – to Phillips at deep backward point. It’s a shame to give it away like that but Bethell’s innings was confirmation, if it were needed, that England have found a generational talent, maybe a multi-generational one.
34th over: England 166-4 (Bethell 76, Pope 9)
33rd over: England 162-4 (Bethell 75, Pope 6) Now, with O’Rourke tiring slightly, Bethell lands a couple of blows with successive steers to the third man boundary. This battle, between a 23-year-old fast bowler and a 21-year-old batter, is just so much fun to watch.
O’Rourke fights back with a bumper that hurries Bethell and is top-edged to safety. Bethell smiles and then chips a third boundary of the over square leg. The last delivery goes for four byes, which makes it 17 from the over.
With the caveat that I haven’t slept properly since the start of this series and am all over the show, watching Bethell bat is so life-affirming. His skill, personality, courage and effervescence almost bring a lump to the throat. Youth certainly isn’t wasted on this kid.
32nd over: England 145-4 (Bethell 62, Pope 5) Pope is beaten by a classic left-arm spinner’s’s delivery from Santner, which curves in and then straightens past the edge. Santner releases a bit of the pressure with a full toss that Pope whacks impatiently for four.
31st over: England 140-4 (Bethell 62, Pope 1) Bethell again demonstrates his limbo-dancing ability to avoid a short ball from O’Rourke that was moving inexorably towards his noggin. “Nice to be agile and 21,” says David Gower, which reminds me of this exchange with the great Andy Bull in 2010.
As an experienced bon viveur can you recommend a good hangover cure? Aha. Well, the best hangover cure in my experience was having to bat against the West Indies in the 1980s. The prospect of any one, or all four, of Holding, Marshall, Garner and Roberts coming at you at 90mph at 10am is enough to shake you out of any lethargy.
New Zealand have another LBW appeal turned down when Bethell falls over towards the off side. They weren’t really interesting, thinking it was missing leg, though the technology had it as umpire’s call.
Bethell is then struck on the body before softening his hands to ensure an edge falls short. He’s done remarkably well to survive this barrage. O’Rourke’s bowling in this game – to everyone, not just Bethell – will go into Test cricket folklore.
30th over: England 140-4 (Bethell 62, Pope 1) Santner concedes four byes with an errant delivery, though I didn’t see it properly. I’ll level with you, I’ve only got eyes for Will O’Rourke right now.
29th over: England 133-4 (Bethell 60, Pope 0) Pope gets in a tangle and is hit flush on the bicep by O’Rourke, whose performance in this game is starting to evoke the gold standard of fast-bowling brutality: Patrick Patterson at Sabina Park in 1985-86.
Pope is not out! It was umpire’s call so that’s a fair enough decision. David Gower makes the great point that Zak Crawley was given out to a ball that hit exactly the same part of the leg bail.
In other news, that ball was timed at 95mph.
NZ review for LBW against Pope! O’Rourke could be on a hat-trick for the second time in the match. Pope was whacked just above the knee roll by his first delivery, and this is going to be really close on both height and line.
WICKET! England 133-4 (Brook c Mitchell b O’Rourke 1)
Magnificent bowling from Will O’Rourke! Brook, who had already missed a lusty swipe after running down the track, could do nothing with a perfectly pitched lifter. He tried to get on top of the bounce but could only fence it low to first slip, where Daryl Mitchell took a slightly awkward catch with the minimum of fuss. That’s a glorious piece of bowling from – sod it, I’m going with it – the best young fast bowler in the world.