Have you ever been paid silly money for a job?
Not in terms of TV, but I did wander into the corporate circuit, which has proven lucrative and I became very good at doing those gigs. I don’t need to swear or offend anyone, so I’m a pretty safe pair of hands.
I remember one time, probably 15 years ago, when a famous comedian had pulled out of a big gig in London because he was prone to nerves and too anxious. They called and asked me to step in. I was paid his fee, which was £15,000.
For me at the time, that was an inordinate amount of money. I bounced around my kitchen for an hour after that phone call. It was a great gig and I was cock-a-hoop.
That hasn’t been repeated but I’m open to offers.
Are you a spender or a saver?
Definitely a saver. I’m getting to the point where I am not running into more gigs, I’m running into fewer gigs, so I need to have enough to get through life and look after my kids.
I’ve always been careful. I go to the golf club where there are all these nice cars and I roll up in an old banger. I can’t risk spending on something that does me no good and is just an ego trip.
What is your biggest indulgence?
We go for nice dinners in town. I’m just going to contradict myself when I say I’m careful.
I did buy a villa in Portugal when I was on the telly. The kids were very young and we went there every summer and half term for about five years. That was for my big retirement but the upkeep became too expensive when TV dried up. It washed its face when I sold it, so it wasn’t a tragedy.
What have been your best and worst money decisions?
Both are property-related.
The best is buying a four-bed place in London that I could never afford now. The worst decision stems from my being quite risky with investments. I invested hundreds of thousands in a property venture abroad and lost the lot.