Like carrying ‘an invisible backpack full of bricks’
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How imposter syndrome blights the lives of many in tech
“Imposter syndrome is like carrying around an invisible backpack full of bricks,” said cognitive behavioural therapist and founder of Inside Out Wellbeing, Vanessa Boachie, in her keynote at CRN and Computing‘s Women and Diversity in Tech Festival on Tuesday.
These bricks, which represent self-doubt, prevent you going where you want to go; they weigh you down and tire you out; they get in the way.
More literally, imposter syndrome can be defined as “a persistent feeling that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be,” and a “constant fear that you will be found out as a fraud,” Boachie explained.
It has little to do with actual achievement and ability; rather it is an internalised feeling that you are being judged by others and found to be wanting.
Imposter syndrome is common in the IT industry, which changes so rapidly that it is impossible to keep up with developments outside of a narrow band in which the individual has direct experience and expertise.
It is also more common among people who are marginalised, distant from the centres of power and decision making, and where there are few people who look or sound like them or share a similar background.
In UK tech, this includes women, ethnic, neurological and sexual minorities, people without stable living conditions, non-native English speakers, recent immigrants and people from different social classes. If they can’t see people like them who have managed to progress up the ladder, they will be more likely to feel themselves intrinsically unworthy.
This was the experience of Boachie herself, who said that after leaving multicultural Newham to enter higher education and the workplace she experienced bias and discrimination. It was also the experience of Kerry Adams, head of the CIO Office in HSBC’s Retail Banking Technology division, another of the day’s speakers. Growing up as the daughter of a single parent on a council estate, Adams left school young and struggled initially to fit in with the well-healed, university-educated finance crowd, causing her to doubt her abilities.
Imposter syndrome can have physical as well as psychological affects, and can lead to illness, burnout and avoidance behaviour, Boachie explained. Unfortunately, avoidance simply perpetuates the condition.
“Avoidance keeps imposter syndrome going. And what might happen is that we start to take a lot of sick leave, because those thoughts are eating away at us.”
To deal with imposter syndrome it must be confronted. Boachie went described a technique called RAFT – standing for Recognition and naming of the problem; Acknowledgement of one’s accomplishments; Framing negative thoughts so they can be held up to scrutiny; and Talking about it.
“It feels like a simple strategy, but it can be very effective,” she said. “Imposter syndrome is something that can people experience at all levels of their career. It’s important for us to normalise these conversations and for us to create an environment where we can be open and honest to help build each other up.”