Monday, December 23, 2024

I confronted a man who harassed me on the bus – I hope he thinks twice next time

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A reader shares her story of what happened when she confronted a man who verbally harassed her on a bus (Credits: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Have your say on these MetroTalk topics and more in the comments.

‘I’ve never felt so brave but hopefully I made a difference’

I would like to praise Rosy Edwards’ article (Metro.co.uk, Thu) about the actions men can take to make women feel safe. Run as part of your This Is Not Right campaign highlighting the degree of violence committed by men against women, she mentions not walking too close after dark or what to say if you see a woman being abused, verbally or physically.

I experienced unwanted verbal harassment while travelling home on public transport, late at night.

A group of five men were seated near me. One started by asking whether I’d had a good evening.

As I didn’t know him, I ignored the question. He then made comments about the fact that I had ignored him, implying that I was deaf or rude. I felt intimidated and upset.

As I stood to get off at my stop, something made me stop. I placed my shopping bags by the open door and walked back to confront the group.

I calmly told the man that his remarks had made me feel uncomfortable and that when a woman was travelling alone and did not answer him he should accept it.

It took a lot of courage for me to speak up. Frankly I didn’t know until that point that I had it in me!

A week or so later, I boarded the same bus and the same group were aboard. None of them said a word to me until I went to get off, when one said, ‘Goodnight, love’ in a manner that suggested he was showing me respect. I said ‘goodnight’ back.

It made me wonder whether my words that night would impact their behaviour in future, and whether the man who spoke to me first would think twice before making a woman feel uncomfortable again. I hope so.

Women have the right to go about their business without fear of violence and, as a victim of both domestic violence and harassment by men,
I applaud campaigns like yours. K, Chester

‘Queer’: reclaimed or still a slur?

Back view of a male couple embracing each other while holding an LGBT rainbow flag outdoors.
Could it be that younger generations find it easier to embrace the word ‘queer’ because they haven’t experienced the same level of harm and prejudice associated with it in the past? (Credits: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

‘Not everyone is ready to reclaim the words that once caused them pain’ As a gay man reading about the 2025 Metro Pride Awards (Metro.co.uk, Wed), I was surprised by your use of ‘queer’. For many gay men, this was and still is the most vile word, the word we heard when were being abused and beaten and for many the final word they heard before dying.

It is used to dehumanise gay men and while many may have ‘reclaimed’ the word, many of us never can. Indeed, many heterosexuals call themselves ‘queer’ when they think they are a bit ‘different’.

Thankfully, many of those who have ‘reclaimed’ the word are too young to have had it used against them.

Many young black men and women have reclaimed the N-word, will Metro be using it as you do the Q-word? Derek, Gospel Oak

Who is responsible for fixing public transport?

Is local control the key to a better commute?
Angela Walker (MetroTalk, Thu) makes a valid point about poor public transport preventing people from working in many parts of the country.

Angela blames ministers for a lack of ‘common sense’ on this issue. Under the previous administration, she would have been right, however the current government is putting through legislation designed to put public transport back in the hands of local authorities.

In London, where public transport has remained under the control of the Greater London Authority, we have a relatively efficient public transport system. The government will need time to sort out this problem so please give it to them. David, Eltham

Self-checkout frustrations: get a move on!

A woman scanning a bunch of bananas at the self checkout in supermarket
If you had to be told what self-service till to use you’ve held up the line! (Credits: Getty Images)

There are four tills free, yet nobody moves!
Further to Robert’s comments on self-service checkouts (MetroTalk, Wed), the worst thing is how much hand-holding people need to use them.

There will be a long queue of people standing with their eyes shut while there are four tills free but they wait to be told to move down. Just look for them coming available and go to it! Lyn, Sheffield

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