A mystery woman was in my bed (left) and the clubhouse (Image: Jon Austin)
For those familiar with Pontins holidays, they know it’s a far cry from lavish hotel grandeur. Recently, the holiday chain hit rock bottom by being named the nation’s worst.
Once priding itself on nearly 30 locations across the UK, Pontins has now dwindled down to just two surviving resorts: Suffolk’s Pakefield Holiday Village and Sand Bay Holiday Village in Weston-super-Mare. Judging from scathing online reviews, guests have been less than impressed.
Thus, when I planned a getaway with my mum and son, high-end indulgence wasn’t on the cards. However, nothing could prepare me for the reality that awaited us.
Originally, we booked at Pakefield, but Pontins hedged their bets by double-booking us with a large private function, expecting it might get canceled as such bookings often do – if it didn’t, our stay would be void. Predictably, our booking was bumped off.
In compensation, they offered us alternative accommodation at the now-closed Camber Sands resort in East Sussex, which we took up. At £347 for four nights, we snapped up a “club” level unit with half-board included.Â
This “club” option was regarded as an upgrade, providing us perks like free electricity and an earlier check-in time.
The digs may have resembled a council flat from the ’50s, but at £347, it seemed like a steal.
Just as we were gearing up to check into our flat, another guest remarked, “I hope you’ve brought your cleaning stuff because our place was filthy”.Â
We tensed up, expecting the worst. Thankfully, it turned out to be nowhere near as dire as anticipated plainly furnished, certainly, but spotless and quite satisfactory.
It boasted a kitchen, shower room, two bedrooms as well as a living area complete with telly and sofa bed (more on that later).
With an abundance of activities for the youngsters such as a skate park, and though simple, the food at the buffet was decent enough to eat. You couldn’t go wrong with the morning fry-up, while the evening spread included a mix of dishes, one for veggies, soups, salads, unlimited tea, coffee, squash, and an assortment of puddings.
The site looked like Basildon moved to the sea (Image: Jon Austin)
Opting for half-board could be a real penny-pincher for families watching their spending.
All went well until the surreal events of night two unfolded.
Come 8.30pm, post-dinner and with tummies full, we popped back to our pad, set for a cosy night in.
There were trainers outside the front, but they may have been owned by next door.
As we made our way into the kitchen, I could see something through in the lounge.Â
Hair was poking out of my duvet – and it looked like it belonged to a woman.
Daily fry-ups went down a storm (Image: Jon Austin)
I panicked and thought I’d stumbled into the wrong place, but a quick glance around confirmed she was the intruder.
I gave my mum and kid the heads up about our surprise visitor and tiptoed over to the real-life Goldilocks, murmuring, “Excuse me, but you’re in our room.”
She stirred, seeming a tad shocked, and mumbled something, but then – to our shock – just snuggled back into my duvet for more z’s.
“You can’t stay here, you need to get up” I pressed on.
She finally started to come around, and fearing she might be scantily clad, due to some clothes strewn on the floor, I retreated to the kitchen to let the bed surfer get decent.
When she finally appeared, she was three sheets to the wind, but highly apologetic.
We worked out this window must have been her point of entry (Image: Jon Austin)
Asked how she got in, she insisted to using her key, and after a bit of head-scratching, we figured out her actual digs were way across the park.
Drunk as a sailor, she’d mistaken our unit for hers because it was in the same spot but a different block.
She grabbed her shoes outside and staggered off into the night, only to return moments later, still unable to locate her own chalet, when we reunited her with a pair of slippers since found in our unit.
And there I was, puzzled over how she got in. Could Pontins have so few key combos that one key opens several places?
Security, who we contacted next, swore each key was unique, but I had my doubts.
They even tracked her down, with family saying she had one-too many and got separated, and tested her key and it did not fit in our lock.
Crazed gulls also inhabited the site – as guests were warned (Image: Jon Austin)
After the woman had left, my son noticed that one of the windows to the main room was slightly ajar. The window was damaged and wouldn’t close properly, but it could be fully opened from the outside.
We found her trainers outside by this window, and her slippers were discovered inside near it. It seemed likely that this was her point of entry.
We contacted security once more, and after some effort, we managed to get them to secure the window, but it was a botched temporary measure that was never remedied. The staff were courteous enough, but no formal apology was given, nor was there any gesture of goodwill for the inconvenience caused.
I attempted to lodge a complaint at the park, but with the manager unavailable and not wanting to waste more of my holiday, I decided against it.
Two days later, I saw the woman in the park. Despite the awkwardness, I was eager to know how she had gained access.
She continued to insist that she had used her key, which didn’t seem plausible and claimed she didn’t recall climbing through a window.
So, did the whole incident put me off Pontins?
Surprisingly, no. In fact, I utilised a discount they offered for a future booking to arrange an even cheaper stay at a different park later that summer.
This time, thankfully, there were no uninvited guests.
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WHAT DID PONTINS SAY?
I wrote to the company following our stay but they declined to investigate because their policy states that a complaint must be initially made at the park.
The firm responded: “It is disappointing that you detail other holiday makers who displayed inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour which impacted on your experience.”
“Whilst we cannot and will not condone the behaviour we cannot be responsible for the actions of those residing on the park.”
“If any guests is found to have breached our terms and conditions regarding their conduct/behaviour they risk being removed from the park.”
“This is done quickly and effectively, in circumstances where we are able and when we are made aware.”
“We are committed to providing the highest standard of customer service and facilities and we welcome customer feedback, constructive or otherwise.”
“All feedback is noted on a weekly report and reviewed by senior management as we continuously strive to deliver the highest standards possible as we are committed to improving our product and service and your feedback assists us greatly in this objective.”
“As per our terms and conditions, we can only investigate and resolve complaints that have been logged with the duty manager team whilst residing on park and as we have no guest solutions form or evidence to indicate or support this issue was raised with the team and left unresolved then we must inform you we are unable to assist further.”
Who’s been sleeping in my bed – how it was left after she departed (Image: Jon Austin)
The Future?
Fred Pontin founded the original company in 1946, which expanded to approximately 30 parks across the nation.
In 2011, the Britannia Hotels chain took over when only six parks remained.
Over the past nine months, three sites, including Camber Sands, Prestatyn in North Wales, and Southport, have abruptly shut down.
The Welsh site is set to accommodate construction workers.
Last month, Pontins announced that Pakefield will close next year to house 500 workers constructing the new Sizewell C nuclear power plant, leaving only Sand Bay in Weston-super-Mare, Somerset, operational.