When Dan Gregson’s sons, 18 and 15, asked to go on their first trip without adults, the 49-year-old teacher says he felt “very worried” – and this was just to a skatepark in central London. Trips abroad with just their friends have been off limits, until now. His eldest son is going to Barcelona with friends and no adults next month.
“I know he’s sensible, it’s just other people I worry about,” he says. “I worry that someone around him will start an argument. I went to Spain when I was 16, but it feels like the world has changed. There’s more aggression in the air now.”
Debate about when exactly is it appropriate to let your children go abroad or on their first parent-free holiday has raged this week, after Kirstie Allsopp was forced to defend her decision to allow her 15-year-old son to go Interrailing with a friend. Some, Allsopp included, believe such trips can be the making of a teenager. For others, it’s a nightmare scenario.
The TV presenter posted on X, formerly Twitter: “My little boy has returned from 3 weeks inter-railing, he’ll be 16 on Wednesday so he went with a mate who’s already 16 due to hostel/travel restrictions, but they organised the whole thing; Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich, Marseille, Toulouse, Barcelona & Madrid.”
She went on to add: “in this increasingly risk-averse world it’s vital that we find any ways we can to give our children the confidence that only comes from trusting them. If we’re afraid our children will also be afraid, if we let go, they will fly.”
Gregson says for him the first question is “why do they want to go away alone?” He says it’s important to build these things up and he takes a “slowly slowly” approach to reduce the anxiety for everyone.
For him, 17 is the youngest possible age a child should leave the country without an adult and “18 is even better”. He will have strict rules for his son while he’s away to text him every day as “that’s something in-built because we do it at home anyway”.