TWO lies we were told by film and TV in the Nineties.
First, opening a dinosaur-themed tourist attraction will always be a disaster. Second, being a palaeontologist is a job worthy of ridicule (just ask Ross from Friends).
The latter claim has aged so badly, it would be worth carbon dating.
As for the first point, well, ROARR! adventure park near Norwich blows that theory out of the water – providing a fabulous day out for the Ross Gellers of tomorrow.
Among today’s primary school kids, “dinosaur expert” now rivals “social-media influencer” and “Premier League footballer” as the most desirable career choices.
Children fresh from learning their ABCs come out with stuff like, “P is for Parasaurolophus” and explain how Deinonychus had a 5in sickle-shaped claw for slashing through flesh.
Nervous wrecks
My son Toby has been one of these (a budding palaeontologist, that is, not a horrifying death talon) for more than a decade.
And ROARR! is his idea of paradise. Set in 85 acres of beautiful Norfolk countryside, this park has 25 indoor and outdoor rides and attractions.
There are two rides – Swing-O-Saurus and Raptor Contraptor (which is also wheelchair accessible) as well as Dippy’s Raceway mini go-karts, a splash pool, “fossil dig” and the Secret Animal Garden petting zoo, where one assumes the goats get better treatment than those at Jurassic Park.
It has plenty of prehistoric facts on hand – notably in the Valley of the Dinosaurs zone – such as the bizarre reason one dinosaur ended up with the name Irritator.
The animatronics are good fun and include the new 33ft Apatosaurus, although some of the static exhibits could do with freshening up.
The seven-hole crazy golf course, named Jurassic Putt, has been given a decent stab at dinosaurification.
Instead of the usual windmills and clown heads, your ball rolls through volcanic landscapes or the digestive tract of a long-extinct marine reptile.
It is not totally clear what a 30ft-high ropes course has in common with dinosaurs, other than the fact both could be described as terrifying. Not so much T. Rex as nervous wrecks.
This is not really a gripe. It might be a little traumatising in the soft-play area to send toddlers down a slide into a ball pool made to resemble an ancient tar pit, for example.
2
We stayed nearby at Fielding Cottages, in the lovely village of Honingham.
The spacious cottages sit alongside a wonderful farm shop and kitchen providing an all-day breakfast fit for an Allosaurus as well as access to a shared pool, games room and gym at nearby Barnham Broom Country Club.
It is Jurassic June at ROARR! with a 20 per cent saving on weekday tickets and ten per cent off weekend visits.
There are daily Foam Zone dance parties outside the Cretaceous Cavern and a “find the dinosaur footprints” trail.
Although it pitches itself at ages two to ten, our 12-year-old Toby gave it a rating of 10/10. It really is Triceratops.
GO: Roarr!
STAYING THERE: A three- night stay for up to four at Fielding Cottages is from £380 in total, with a week’s stay from £880. See fieldingcottage.co.uk.
PLAYING THERE: Tickets to ROARR! Norfolk are cheapest when booked online in advance.
Prices from £9.95 to £21.95pp, depending on time of year. See roarr.co.uk.